The likelihood of your teen son watching porn is very high

african-american-boy-types-email-on-laptop-computer-video-id183899587

In the UK the average age of a young boys exposure to online pornography is 11 years old. In a recent survey 81% of 3000 boys said that they look at it.

A new book by Deana Puccio deals with this and other issues for parents in the digital. Top of the list of major concerns is the access to technology and after that the ubiquity of online pornography.

“There is a risk to this generation that online pornography could damage the sexual sensitivities of boys and their future relationships,” said Deana.  “However, girls, who are far less likely to be interested in pornography at this stage in their lives, are at risk too, from their partners and future partners who could mistake the fiction of online pornography to be the norms when it comes to having normal, satisfying sex”.

Growing up, expectations need to be realistic. The vast majority of women in pornographic films have surgically enhanced breasts and no pubic hair. By normalising such things, pornography could be conditioning boys to have unrealistic expectations.

Porn is having an impact on they way boys interact and react and conversate with / about girls their own age. Sexist, misogynistic, homophobic and racist language and attitudes are common. In the book, Deana list the kinds of everyday sexism boys use and girls overhear: “On her knees, that’s where she belongs”; “I would destroy her”; “She’s a f*ck and chuck.”

What needs to be done to combat this?

LYP says: We fear that the impact of pornography is having epidemic affect on young people’s lives. It normalises sex on such degrading level that it’s only a matter of time that society will hit a tipping point, unless schools, governments and parents start taking this seriously. Recent studies from the Women and Equalities Commision have stated that a third of all girls in schools have been sexually harassed. This is only the tip of the iceberg. That is why LYP is trying to visit schools and warn young people of the dangers of online pornography. Join us by speaking to your local secondary school about their code of practice and how they combat sexual harassment and whether it’s being used effectively.  

Local authorities need to protect youth services

2754195_orig

A new report from Unison, A Future at Risk, said an estimated £387m has been cut from youth service budgets since 2010, adding that there are about £26m more cutbacks on the way. 91% of the cuts will effect the poorest amongst us. Young black, gay, gang members, transgender and those in social care at the most risk of being failed by the system. Victims of sexual abuse and drug addiction are also counted amongst those losing out.

UK youth services can no longer support the number of cases. Take a look at these statistics and you will be shocked at the scale of this failure to our young people in the UK.

Some 600 youth centres have closed down, 3,650 youth staff have lost their jobs, and 139,000 youth places have been axed.  Further information from 180 councils suggests that young people most in need are increasingly being left with nowhere to turn for support.

Unison compiled information from every local authority in the UK that has responsibility for youth services and asked them what became of their funding between 2014 and 2016.

Unison also surveyed its members working in youth services for the report, on how they saw the changes affecting young people and communities on the ground.

Green Party leader Natalie Bennett said these findings laid bare the very real damage austerity had done to our communities.

“As a society, we should be prioritising giving young people the best possible start in life. But our government has shown it is willing to slash vital youth services for the sake of short-term cash savings – which is both reckless and short-sighted.”

LYP says:  We agree with Natalie Bennett, it’s the same old rhetoric and since the 19th century governments from each side of the political fence have financially ‘yoyo’d’ the very essence of informal education because basically it’s so hard measure and quantify the outcomes. We must leave the youth work service alone and stop interfering with young people’s lives as if it is a business. All these financial cuts will only destroy the  good work so far and is still yet to happen. At some point in the future there will be a price we will all have to pay as a society for not having the right youth provision services in place. Only time will tell what price that will be! 

01_150529

More than 33% of women watch porn regularly

01_150529

A survey was managed by Typeform on behalf of the magazine Marie Claire has highlighted how portable technologies have made porn more accessible.

3000 female readers were asked about how often and how they sourced their porn. 90 % of the sample said they watched porn on their home computers and smartphones. Women’s relationships with porn has been largely left unstudied and is hugely ignored.

Of the respondents, 70 % of the women were aged between 18 and 34. More than half of them were in a relationship. Porn addiction in females is bound to be on the rise too. What are the reasons behind the need, has the desire always been there but it’s been disguised up until now because such surveys did not exist and the ways to access pornography in the past filled with obstructions?

LYP says: We think it’s a reflection of today’s westernised culture: independent, detached, isolated and empty.  It’s easy to access porn and requires no effort for instant gratification  unlike sex which requires a lot more work and may not always be as rewarding. Westernised women have now been given permission to write their own rules and they don’t need men to satisfy them anymore. The union of men and women has become redundant in the art of romance and intimacy. Sex in relationships has become shallow and meaningless because pornography has changed the way we view ourselves in the context of relationships. 

Does pornography kill love?

o-WOMAN-AT-COMPUTER-facebook

A girl from Texas, now a devout Christian living in Dallas Forth Worth first saw porn at the age of ten. She then secretly became addicted in her teens and early20s allowing herself to become addicted and allowing it to negatively affect her sexual relations with her partners.

Today, Chiara is a lifestyle blogger, letterer and digital marketer in her late 20s. She’s also a recovering porn addict, an observant Christian living in the Dallas/Fort Worth area and a public supporter of #PornKillsLove (PKL), a social media-based anti-porn campaign organized by anti-porn activist group Fight the New Drug.

Love is essentially edited out of pornography and it edited a false transaction, the reactions are over accentuated and it gets no deeper than the noises and profiling. The nonprofit organization’s stated mission is to ‘raise awareness on the harmful effects of pornography through creative mediums,’ one of which is #PornKillsLove. They have over 21,000 followers on Twitter too.

Chiara, has been porn-free for over two years now and doesn’t let occasional slips derail her commitment. She is celibate and a reborn virgin and is also active in her church’s addictions ministry. Most importantly, she seems really happy.

For more information about PKL visit here. http://pornkillslove.com/

LYP says: The notion that women can be addicted to pornography is new concept to most people in society but in fact the statistics in the USA state that 30% of pornography addicts are women. Sadly we don’t have those statistics for the UK yet, but we wouldn’t be surprised if it was close to that here in UK. When we teach in schools we are beginning to see an increase in girls admitting to reading about pornography through sexual literature. This is not unusual because of how different the brain works with girls compared to boys. We wonder whether there’s enough information and support for women who are addicted to pornography. LYP has developed a specific girl/women pornography awareness course due to the increase of young girls needing just as much support as boys.  

young woman

Porn useage – Quantity vs. Treatment Level

A new study published in The Journal of Sexual Medicine, looks at the factors that drive people into treatment for problematic porn use.

The scientist, Dr Gola wants to determine if the frequency of porn use or consequences related to porn use is more important. Unsurprisingly, when diagnosing and treating porn addicts the amount of porn a person uses is considerably less relevant than his or her porn-related consequences.

Preoccupation to the point of obsession with highly objectified pornographic imagery, and loss of control over the use of pornography, typically evidenced by failed attempts to quit or cut back. Negative consequences related to porn use can be diminished relationships, trouble at work or in school, depression, isolation, anxiety, loss of interest in previously enjoyable activities, shame, and sexual dysfunction with real world partners, financial woes, legal issues, etc.

As you may have noticed, none of these criteria mention how much porn a person is viewing. Porn addiction is comparable to substance addiction disorders where it’s not how much you drink/use, it’s the impact that drinking has on their lives.

In recent years, of course, we’ve seen numerous studies linking the amount of porn use to potential negative consequences. But until this recently published research appeared we’ve had little to no scientific support for our claim that consequences is the primary measure we should use when identifying and treating pornography addiction.

LYP says: We are really interested in trying  to understand why people become easily addicted, especially with  pornography and the impact it has on young people. We felt that this article tries to tackle the wider consequences of measuring that impact and we like the fact they’re looking at it from as scientific perspective. We also agree that it depends on the personality not necessary how much they watch. However we have noticed especially with the young people we work with that the more pornography they view the greater their need to look for more harder material to satisfy their desire.  Unfortunately they are not aware of the long term damage that may occur as their brain develops. 

 

Riverside_Nave

So, religious people don’t watch pornography?

Research found in a recent American study, Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity: The Journal of Treatment & Prevention, has shown that a significant percentage of those amongst us who consider themselves religious still look at pornography on a regular basis.

 Many religious Americans consider watching porn to be deviant behaviour or a sinful addiction, and attempt to address it through preventative online software for individuals accessing porn or through therapy for people who are addicted to it.

The researchers presented participants with the evidence from the study showing them the discrepancy between reported and actual pornography use in those that consider themselves devout. Unsurprisingly, some highly religious participants did not like the results. They were also more likely than their non-religious peers to believe that the survey was conducted by politically motivated researchers.

There was found to be a correlation between religious states and online adult content use too. The researchers defined religious states as those with a higher percentage of individuals who self-identify as very religious and consider religion to be important to their daily lives. They found that there were more searches for sexual content on Google in these states.

Mark and Claire say: Here in the U.K. the LYP team has experienced the culture of fear in faith organisations. They are afraid to openly talk about pornography without being judged. Sadly there still remains a wall of secrecy due to fear of exposure, shame and guilt.  There’s also an in-house fear that talking about it will encourage young people to look for it and end up addicted. Pornography is only fuel for the emotional fire and most of the time there’s a deeper root of emotion that has not been addressed.

What do you think?

Parents fear for their mentally ill children

family

Recently a new survey commissioned by our friends at @MQmentalhealth has highlighted parents’ fears on mental health. The results report that two-thirds of parents are concerned that if their children developed a mental-illness during childhood there’s not enough of the right support available. The research also highlights valid worries concerning that mental-ill children may not be able to secure a job, find a partner, be put into care full-time or have a family as a result of their condition, in later life.

A survey of 2,061 adults, including 500 parents, found that 67% of parents believe their child may never recover from being diagnosed with mental illness. The survey was commissioned by MQ – Transforming Mental Health to find out if the parents think that the support is there and where there a knowledge gaps too.

The results have renewed concerns about how well equipped NHS children’s and adolescent mental health services are to deal with the growing number of young people experiencing problems such as acute anxiety.

About one in 10 children and young people aged five to 16 have been diagnosed with a mental disorder. The commonest conditions are conduct disorder (5.8%), anxiety (3%), hyperkinetic disorder (1.5%) and depression (0.9%), according to Office for National Statistics data from 2004.

Mark and Claire say:  We work in schools with young people with mental health problems through our self-esteem courses and see first hand the reality of young people struggling to cope with so many mental health issues that schools cannot cope in supporting them.  Love Young People also agrees and acknowledges that there aren’t enough resources to support young people growing up and this will only get worse as government funding has been dramatically cut over the last few years.  We will reap what we sow.